arrays | yours in demigodishness

Natalie didn't move from her position just yet, keeping her hands secure on his shoulder, her gaze unwavering.

She didn't want to say that he won't hurt her, but, "I'll risk it." Not that this was any more comforting, but it was still the truth. Her lips sought her for a more tentative kiss.

He trusted her not to lie just to make him feel better, but she had more trust in him than he did in himself. When she kissed him, his grip on her arms tightened, but he kissed back hesitantly, just hoping he didn't burn her.

"See?" she whispered hopefully, "we're totally okay."

Her thumb grazed his cheek affectionately before she lifted her chin to press her lips to his forehead. It wouldn't be right, she thought, to jump into anything sexual, but she was fully aware of the effects of physical contact, especially for people like them.

Biting his lip, Leo leaned into her touch and wished he could believe her. He wanted to, and having Natalie here was a comfort, but it would take a lot to get his mind off of what happened. Shifting, he slid his arms around her waist, closing his eyes and burying his face in her neck.

Nothing is ever easy and she had been well aware of that fact her entire life. It still doesn't mean that she won't put forth an effort for him. They would go slowly.

Her hands move in a pattern, over his back, his arms, his neck, through his hair, over and over again - her attempt at soothing. "You know I love you."

There was a soft sound at the contact, and Leo nodded into her shoulder. He gave a shuddering sigh, willing himself to calm down. Wasn't he the one always accusing her of thinking too much?

After a while, he pulled back just enough to look up at her, wanting to stay close in spite of his worries - or really, because of them. "I love you, too."

"Good."

She chuckled quietly, trying to smile for him. "And - and there are people who also love you and think of you as family," Natalie continued, threading her fingers through his hair. "They trust you." Shifting her body, she moved from her sideways position to face him fully, legs on each side, sitting taller. "I know it doesn't - you're feeling low and it doesn't seem like any of it is true but I mean everything."

"I know. It - That's not what I'm worried about." He shook his head, frustrated. "It's - I don't want to hurt anyone, but it's already happened once. What if... What if I lose control again?" he asked, voice a whisper.

His mother had trusted him, too.

"I used to lose control," Natalie explained, "not that it was anything at all like what you experienced, like, mostly me sort of bottling up and then letting it all out all at once. Maybe it's not just mastering techniques but putting yourself in the right mindset, which is easier said than done, but -- maybe it will help."

She squeezed his shoulders. "I -- know it's not easy, with what happened to you. I can't imagine what it felt like and I just feel like I'm talking out of my ass trying to say things to make you feel a little better. I'm sorry."

"How am I supposed to do that?"

It was difficult to shake the idea that if it happened once, it could happen again, and Leo had no doubts that Gaea would target Natalie if she wanted to get to him again. It was all too easy to admit that it would work like a charm.

With a soft sigh, Leo craned his neck to brush his lips over hers, barely a kiss. "I love you," he said with a soft sigh. I won't let her take you from me.

"I love you too."

The words come out easily nowadays. "I'm sorry - sorry that I don't know how exactly to help you." It only frustrates her further, and he should know that feeling better than anyone else. She kisses him back, firmly, before parting her lips to breathe him in.

He only shook his head in reply - don't worry about me, I get it, I understand. Few demigods had a happy home life; Leo was hardly special. The only difference was that few demigods were capable of destroying the entire camp if they let their tragic pasts catch up to them.

Her voice, her kiss - it felt as if those were the only things that could get his mind off of the nightmare, even for a little while. His hands still trembled, but Leo managed to kiss back, still hesitant and yet telling himself to focus on her, only her, like she had suggested earlier. He couldn't keep on like he was before Natalie had come -- it kept others safe, but left him susceptible to his own thoughts and memories.

"Focus on me," she'd said. It took every ounce of effort he had in him, but Leo tried.

Natalie didn't know what pushed her to pull back to rid herself of her plaid shirt. Maybe it will prove something, maybe it will tell him something she can't express. Her boldness, she hopes, is a sign that she doesn't think he's a monster.

She reached for his hands and rested them on her narrow waist. She feels him tremble and that only makes her more determined to get him through the day.

"Is this okay?"

Inhaling sharply, Leo couldn't help but watch, mouth parted in surprise. That wasn't - She didn't usually do that, even when they were both okay and acting, for once, like normal teenagers did. It sent another surge of fear through him, materialized in startled sparks dancing across his skin even as she placed his hands on one of his favorite parts of her. His mouth went dry, and suddenly it was hard to speak.

Well, she had his attention.

"Nat," he said, voice small, "I'll burn you."

Leo didn't know how she could do it - how she could trust him at a time like this, with his power going haywire. He didn't even trust himself, though he didn't want her to go.

"I - I want to show you how much I love you," she explained, sliding her hands up his arms so he could cup his cheeks. "I don't give a sh - no, no, I do. But I'm not scared of you or what you can do."

She pursed her lips, looking him over as she lifted a finger to brush some hair away from his forehead, each movement of hers tender and far more gentle than she thought she was ever capable of doing.

I'm not scared of you.

The words echoed through his mind, speaking directly to every vulnerable part of him, everything that made him want to run. There was one, frustrating voice in his head that whispers you should be, but Leo took a shaky breath and focused back on her. Meeting her eyes, he stared up at her for a moment before giving Natalie an uncertain nod, hands slowly sliding down her waist to her hip in a very deliberate attempt to calm himself.

She tucked her hair behind her ears before canting her head to the side, observing him. Would another kiss be too smothering? She did not want that. Instead of full contact, she simply brushed her lips over his, allowing him to close the space if he so chose.

One hand followed the line of his shoulder and down his chest so she could press it over his heart.

And close the space he did, after a half-second's hesitation. His arms wound tight around her waist, clinging to Natalie and pulling her a little bit closer. His heart was beating a million times a minute, caught between fear, frustration, nervousness, and a desperate hope that Natalie was right, and he wouldn't hurt her after all. Leo wanted to believe her, to believe that he wasn't the diablo that Aunt Rosa had said he was. He needed to be close to her for that.

Edited 2014-06-01 13:45 (UTC)

It's really shitty half the time, she thought, what the gods do to kids and families, complicating home life and not explaining to them what these strange powers and visions mean. And then they expected them to help save the world and Olympus and everything that's not in their power (or whatever) to defend. What kind of deal is that?

She pulled him in, not wanting to bog herself down with darkened thoughts. She said she would be here for him, so there she was, kissing him fervently and breathlessly. They were in their own bubble now, with no one to disturb them.

He was slow to respond at first, still unsure and afraid, but gradually, he pushed those thoughts away to focus only on her. It wasn't the healthy way to deal with it, but Leo had been running for a long time; old habits were hard to break, and Natalie, at least, gave him something to run to, something he'd never had before. When he kissed back, he clung to her like a lifeline, one hand curling into her hair.

Natalie began to work his shirt off, her hands clawing down his back, grabbing bunches of fabric so that she could reveal more skin. She understood that need to run, and she was happy to be the person he wanted to run to; if only she could return the favor as much during her times of need. But they were both learning.

His breath came as a hiss with her doing that, and he pulled back for a moment to take care of the problem. The shirt, complete with little holes and scorch marks from where Leo had lost control this morning, fell in a heap beside them and was instantly forgotten. It was for the better, really - he was trying to avoid thinking of the Blessing, the curse, trying to convince himself that the tingling on his skin is because his girlfriend, beautiful and undeniably sexy as she is, is sitting in his lap without a shirt on. It was a logical explanation, he told himself, not even noticing the sparks on his skin while he goes over her curves.

Natalie didn't notice just how many scorch marks there were on his shirt, only concentrating on taking it off and skimming her hands, warm but not as warm ad his, over his arms and his chest.

"Take my bra off," she instructed softly, murmuring into his ear, leaning over him so she could brush her lips around the shell, lightly nipping his earlobe.

He complied without a word, somehow finding it easier to listen to Natalie than to his own thoughts. A shiver went through him at the attention paid to his ear, the light touch distracting while he fumbled with the clasp - a small part of him registered frustration at the struggle; he'd never had problems with such a simple mechanism before. When it was finally out of the way, his hands found their way to her shoulders to carefully tug the straps down.

The light fabric was discarded easily and Natalie sat up to fix her hair a little, at least to gather the thick curls and twist them over one shoulder so she could kiss him without getting any in the way. And she did kiss him, bringing his hands to her body again, resting them at the small of her back. Was this progress? She hoped so, even for a small step.

Reminding herself not to rush, that they did not need to rush, she moves her lips slowly, quietly murmuring his name.

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