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infreefall) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
arrays2020-11-28 01:29 pm
infreefall) wrote in arrays2020-11-28 01:29 pm
redacted ★ for sisi
[ Everyone leaves the Realm with a few momentos of their time there. The PHS goes everywhere with Ochako lest she miss a message, kept in her bag next to the insignia pin from Claude’s uniform - both reminders that while her friends are far away, while they may not be able to see each other again for some time, they’re still there, never truly gone. There’s a jian tucked away in the furthest corner of her closet, an attempt to avoid questions even as it inspires Ochako to take kendo classes when she has the time to spare, so that if the day comes that she needs it again, she will be able to wield it well.
There is the silver butterfly, always somewhere within sight. Even when she returns to class, when the sheer normalcy of being back in school like nothing ever happened makes Ochako wonder if the Realm was just some crazy nightmare, the flutter of silver wings catches her eye from the classroom windows, a comforting presence that brings a small smile to her face. She talks to it sometimes when she’s alone, as if Hua Cheng himself might hear it and offer an answer from another world - mostly about how strange it is to have to go right back to everyday life, without any of their friends from the Realm at her side. Funny how she’d gotten used to that so quickly, but readjusting to normal things is turning out to be a struggle.
In the middle of telling the butterfly how hard it is to remember what she was doing for the English essay due this week after eight weeks spent in the Realm, it shatters, and Ochako’s heart stops. For a few long, agonizing moments, all she can do is stare in horror at the place it had been sitting on her desk as the last fragments of silver begin to fade. Then she lunges for her bag, frantically digging out the PHS and searching for the right app. Never did she think that this would be the reason she’d make use of it, as she looks Xie Lian and Hua Cheng’s world and, despite all the promises she’d made to everyone else, immediately enters to look for them. ]
Xie Lian! Xie Lian, did something happen? The butterfly - Is Hua Cheng-san okay?
[ Just looking at Xie Lian will probably be enough. There are no words that she can think of to offer - it was all supposed to be over, after the Realm. They were supposed to be okay. So she gives the only comfort she knows how, throwing herself at Xie Lian to hug him as tightly as she dares. ]
There is the silver butterfly, always somewhere within sight. Even when she returns to class, when the sheer normalcy of being back in school like nothing ever happened makes Ochako wonder if the Realm was just some crazy nightmare, the flutter of silver wings catches her eye from the classroom windows, a comforting presence that brings a small smile to her face. She talks to it sometimes when she’s alone, as if Hua Cheng himself might hear it and offer an answer from another world - mostly about how strange it is to have to go right back to everyday life, without any of their friends from the Realm at her side. Funny how she’d gotten used to that so quickly, but readjusting to normal things is turning out to be a struggle.
In the middle of telling the butterfly how hard it is to remember what she was doing for the English essay due this week after eight weeks spent in the Realm, it shatters, and Ochako’s heart stops. For a few long, agonizing moments, all she can do is stare in horror at the place it had been sitting on her desk as the last fragments of silver begin to fade. Then she lunges for her bag, frantically digging out the PHS and searching for the right app. Never did she think that this would be the reason she’d make use of it, as she looks Xie Lian and Hua Cheng’s world and, despite all the promises she’d made to everyone else, immediately enters to look for them. ]
Xie Lian! Xie Lian, did something happen? The butterfly - Is Hua Cheng-san okay?
[ Just looking at Xie Lian will probably be enough. There are no words that she can think of to offer - it was all supposed to be over, after the Realm. They were supposed to be okay. So she gives the only comfort she knows how, throwing herself at Xie Lian to hug him as tightly as she dares. ]
no subject
she leans close, to wrap her arms around xie lian once more. ]
Then he’ll come back, just like we did in the Realm.
[ of course he’d already know that, but sometimes, hearing something from someone else helps make it feel real, doesn’t it? like you aren’t just fooling yourself, like there’s really a chance for what you’ve chosen to believe in. ]
I know there’s no other place he’d want to be than with you, so he’ll show up again sooner or later. And we’ll have to throw him the best welcome back party he’s ever seen when he does, won’t we?
[ optimism - because even if it hurts now, there’s always a way to make it better, somehow, as long as they refuse to give up. ]
no subject
things in xie lian's life have certainly changed, since before and after his trip to the realm - the biggest thing of all has been the strange and novel feeling that he has friends. even here, at home, his relationship with mu qing and feng xin has been more or less repaired, his old tutor is alive - there's the windmaster, there's qi ying, there are people that have started to fill in eight centuries of loneliness and suffering with color and light. suddenly, he's no longer alone.
...but with san lang gone, it feels like there's a hole in his heart, and somehow - somehow, even now that he has people who love him, who care for him, xie lian just feels lonely. it's like having a taste of water after crawling through a desert, dying of thirst, only to have the water ripped from your hands. wouldn't anyone hurt, afterwards? to understand the sweetness of being wanted and loved and understood, by someone who knew you more than anyone you'd ever even realized, only to have that taken away?
having ochako here is a reminder, though, that he's not alone. the hug gets to him, reminds him of a thousand others before, of a girl falling apart in his arms after the death of her closest friend. her optimism and light is something to hold onto, something he treasures, and after a moment, xie lian nods, gently letting the ring on the chain fall back against his chest to return the hug. ]
...En. We will.
[ how long is it going to be? will it even be in this lifetime, in the breadth of a human? or will he wait centuries like san lang did for him?
he hopes its the former. with all of his strength, xie lian really does. ] ...He will be happy to know you were thinking of him, Miss Ochako. I'm sure of it.